I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize