it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Randomize
