God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
