My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
im holly from the hills drunk
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Randomize
