You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
