As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
