just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
