Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
