Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
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