Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
