He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize
