my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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