went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i barfeds in our rink
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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