the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
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