Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Panties = found
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
