I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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