I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
