white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize