Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
