Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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