But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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