i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize