is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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