Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
