He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize