He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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