Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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