I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
we're so committed to being not committed
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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