do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
