are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Randomize
