YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
