I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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