Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
