Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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