BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
