Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
