You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
