He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
i need some magic done to my vagina
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
