the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
