I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i dont even know how to be here
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
