We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
