I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
