problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize