Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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