operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Randomize
