i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
