Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize