Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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