You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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