He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
