hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
please don't ironically join a cult
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