Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
