Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
