I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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