just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
