There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
