Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
