Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Randomize
