I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
