Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize