He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
