Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize