i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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