I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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