this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
