I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
