Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
