Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Randomize
