I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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