Cold hands, warm shart.
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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