Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
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