I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
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