I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
