i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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