And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
